I guess this is 2017 update #2. This is more for the people who know me in real life and have been following my travels but not my twitter feed lol. I’m gonna hit some things I’ve hit time and again on social media throughout this last year, mainly my struggles at work and with immigration. This is something I plan to write about more analytically in the near future, possibly on another platform, and if so, I’ll link that when it comes. For now, I’m keeping this blog my personal safe space. If you feel entitled to more, see 2017 update #1.
I’ve been in Germany for the last year and half (stable-y, no big travels except a couple little trips in Europe). It hasn’t been that great. I’ve been working as an English teacher at a bilingual kindergarten and going to school part time. Last Spring, the immigration office criminally charged me for accepting my current job and the process trapped me in Germany for 3 months while I waited to see what would happen (best case, case dismissed, worst case, deportation and banned for up to 10 years). It was kind of hard to relax with something like that hanging over my head… and it’s not like I could just come home and feel the love and support of my friends and family, because God forbid I miss the mailman with the letter of my fate. But– thank God!– in the end the charge was dismissed and I was granted the freedom to go back to work!
Fast forward almost a year and the “dream” job I fought the system for is actually a nightmare. I work with 8 catty white women who attack me microagressively everyday to the point where I feel like I’m in a permanent brace-position emotionally, and if you think racism only affects you when it’s n-words and confederate flags, in less than a year I’ve lost almost 20 pounds, acquired severe hypotension, and gotten more colds and flus in the last 6 months than in my entire 6 years living abroad.
So the update is I’m changing my life. Today I talked with my boss and told her that the job is affecting my health and I need to leave immediately. I have been offered another position closer to where I live and the environment is so diverse and loving. It’s not the “elite” place I’m at now, but gurl you know if the last year’s taught me anything, it’s not to strive to be in spaces too good for melanin. My boss agreed and I should find out tomorrow if a transfer is possible.
I would really appreciate it if you kept me in your thoughts tonight and tomorrow and checked in on me every now and then to see what the latest is. Maybe things will work out and I’ll find a more fitting job in Germany. Maybe it won’t and I’ll head home to my wonderful friends and family in America. Ok, ok that last statement is only half true lol.. but as of now, anything’s better than this.
See ya ❤